Vacation Vacation Vacation

I'm on vacation. I mean, I'm *really* on vacation because it's just me and my husband. I don't have to take care of anyone else for an entire nine days. Imagine that?!  Nine days of vacation from being a mommy.  It wouldn't really matter where I was, I'd be enjoying that.  But we actually ARE somewhere amazing.  We're here in Keystone, Colorado enjoying the best of what winter has to offer. 

I've been reluctant to call home and ask for the kids because I didn't want to upset the apple cart, so to speak. If they're happy, best to leave them be.  But yesterday I got a phone call from home and I asked to talk to them.  The instant I heard my son's voice, I realized just how much I miss those little tykes. I don't miss all the work that comes with them but I sure do miss the wonderful little people that they are and the overflowing love that they bring into my life.

Having said that, I had to chuckle yesterday when I saw what my cousin posted to her Facebook page.  (This is the cousin who's watching the kids while we're here on vacation.)

That really made me chuckle.  I immediately thought, "Welcome to my world!" 

Although, I have to tell you, it surprised me a little because I kept thinking, she's young, surely she'll have the energy and stamina to last a week with these kids.  But, nope, even my 18 year-old cousin is worn out by the little tykes!  And I'm choosing to be flattered by that (as well as trying to not feel guilty for possibly throwing her in over her head).

I think I've remarked before on the frequency that people praise me for the job I'm doing.  I'm always mystified by that because what I frequently focus on are the many ways I believe that I'm failing my children.  But I think maybe people realize that just surviving the day is a feat worthy of celebration.  *hehe* Maybe now I can start realizing that too.

I've Got the Travelin' Bug

Yesterday my brother jokingly - or perhaps not so jokingly - called me a "babysitter whore".  (Though I would argue that I'm actually more of a babysitter pimp...just sayin'.) But I'll tell you what, I totally feel like that's true. And frankly, it's no laughing matter.  I think this has been the hardest thing for me about motherhood for me - the constancy of it.  I know that probably sounds ridiculous and maybe my situation is a little extreme (with four young children and all) but truly, I wasn't prepared for how trapped I would feel.  I mean, I love my kids, I think you all know that.  And I love doing stuff with them...and taking pictures of it.  But there's so much MORE that I want to do (and used to be able to do).   

This seems like a good time to acknowledge a few saints in my life.  First there's my very kind sister-in-law who comes over and watches our children several times a month so that my husband and I can spend a little time together doing SOMETHING.  I appreciate it so much.  It's a luxury we would not otherwise be able to afford. I try so hard to not additionally take advantage of her, because it already feels like so much.  And I do try to let her know how much we appreciate it but the fact that she does this for us, without even having children and understanding how desperately I long for time to myself...well...like I said, she's a saint.  That's all there is to be said.

The other person who deserves a public thank you is my next door neighbor.  She has five children of her own so she totally understands why I don't relish dragging my troop to doctor appointments or shopping or oil changes or whatever it might be.  Many a time I've called her up for a favor, "Can so and so (or more typically, several of them) come over while I run and do XYZ".  She's a really good sport about it and I'm pretty sure I owe her about a week's worth of solid babysitting.

But contrary to the experience those two have had with me, it's actually really hard for me to ask for help. I hate to be a bother.  And neither of them are really able to help me scratch my traveling itch anyway (though not for lack of willingness on either of their parts, I have no doubt). My mom was such an awesome help when the kids were younger but then she moved out of the area (hopefully not just to get away from my perpetual requests for help!!).  At least once Mom came back and watched all four kids for a long weekend but quite frankly, I think she found it a little overwhelming. It'd probably be easier now that the kids are a little older and more independent, but still, it's a lot.  I have another sister-in-law who would no doubt be very willing but again, she has a job and plenty of responsibilities of her own.

So yeah, traveling is tricky these days.

Why don't we travel with the kids?!  Ha!  I'll tell you why.  One thing that I hadn't considered before we suddenly found ourselves the parents of four children was how expensive everything would be.  I would love to take them out west for a ski trip or plan a family cruise but plain and simple, WE CAN'T AFFORD IT!! 

*sigh*  Becoming a parent has forced me to plant my feet on the ground much more solidly than I ever intended too.  Instead of making plans for the near future, I daydream about the distant future.  (And anyone who knows me well probably also knows that patience is not one of my fortés.) So who knows when I'll actually be able to start traveling again but it WILL happen, I promise you that.  Someday...someday.